ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW.”

You have probably heard these words hundreds of times in movies and read them in books. These words – or some version of them – are part of what we have come to know as a “Miranda Warning,” named after Miranda v. Arizona,  a 1966 U.S. Supreme Court case.

Although Miranda dealt with rights of someone in police custody, we ought to teach children that what they SAY online can be used against them in many ways. I recently read a blog written by a man who was a juror in a case that was decided based on all kinds of social media evidence.

Jon Mitchell, a writer for ReadWriteWeb.com, wrote about his recent jury duty experience.  The jury had to decide who was telling the truth by comparing what live witnesses said in court with what they had written on MySpace, Facebook and in emails, some of which were written years before.

Mr. Mitchell’s advice was to “write like what you say will be read to a jury.” For teens and children, maybe a better test would be, “write like what you say will be read by your grandmother.”

We are living in a wired world. Boundaries between public and private lives are becoming blurred, and what children and youth “say” online can follow them for the rest of their lives.

For years, stores have used that day as the beginning of holiday shopping and many stores open very early, often at 4:00 a.m. or even earlier. Families have added that early-morning trip as part of their holiday traditions.

More and more, people bring their children along on these shopping sprees. Here are tips for keeping your children safe if they’re out on Black Friday.

• DRIVERS. There are lots of people – tired and cranky people -  who have been up since two or three in the morning -  driving around. They are in a hurry and stressed, which adds greater a threat on the road. Never skip buckling your child – or yourself – while driving from one store to the next, even if you are in a hurry and stressed. It may save time to skip the buckle, but taking the time to buckle could save a life.

• Also, watch how you store your purchased items in the car; items that are stacked too high may topple over on you or  passengers in your car.

• MASS HYSTERIA never brings people to their finest moment, whether it’s over attacks from aliens or trying to get one of twenty holiday-fad items marked down for a dollar.  It is easy for adults to get caught up in the undertow of excitement, but imagine how easy it is for a child to be trampled or knocked about.  Shoppers herd in certain parts of the store to find a specific item and will stop at nothing to get it.  Last year, a friend of mine witnessed a petite lady summon the strength of Superman to tip over a fully loaded cart, clearing a path to reach the last of the marked down vacuums.

• KEEP UP WITH THE KIDS. It’s crowded, cluttered and dangerous when kids are in the mix.  They can get lost easily.

• TOO MUCH MERCHANDISE, TOO FEW CARTS.  Stores often run out of carts for properly securing children. Excess stock kept stacked in aisles and endcaps can pose a challenge for children walking low to the ground and can fall on top of a child if they get bumped.   If a cart is unavailable, never put your children inside other items such as a suitcase or duffle bag! (I didn’t make that up.)

• STROLLERS AND PURCHASES. Use caution if you decide to use your child’s stroller to carry your purchases (like hanging bags on the stroller handles). The extra weight may throw the balance of the stroller off and cause it to tip over and hurt your child.

So remember deal-hunters: Always make sure your children are safe and accounted for while shopping. Happy shopping!

And, while it’s normal for children to get a little “banged up,” parents must beware.

• Make sure your child has had plenty of rest before extra outdoor physical exertion. Children who are tired may be clumsier than usual – and not use the best judgment.
• Watch out for a child’s unusual behavior after getting a little “banged up.” What may at first appear to be minor (and probably is) may be more serious if pain persists. Take your child’s complaints seriously.
• Watch for redness, swelling, fever, bleeding, etc. after your child has been playing hard outside.

Go out and enjoy the beautiful season. We’ve got all winter to heal.

• Use glow sticks, reflectors and “spooky” shoes that have little lights for after-dark spooky activities.
• Try glow earrings, bracelets and even glow-in-the-dark stickers for your child’s candy bag.
• Be sure your child’s mask doesn’t inhibit her ability to see.
• Travel in a group.
• Have an adult in front and an adult in back of the group — with reflective clothing and flashlights. (Even if your children are too “old” for adults, make sure they have reflective clothing and flashlights and are in a group.)
• Go to homes with lights on.
• Check candy before your child eats it — wrappers intact, no open or unmarked candy.
• If your child has, for instance, a peanut allergy, make sure everyone in the group knows about the allergy. Prompt them to trade what they can’t eat right away.

Teens, and even preteens, are increasingly sexting each other. (Links to my earlier posts about sexting are here and here.) Texts are also increasingly being used by cyberbullies.

Eye Guardian is a new app that  looks for graphic phrases in your child’s text messages AND on her Facebook page.

You set your own sensitivity scale for words/phrases are offensive to you. You get an email alert once the software finds an offensive item or, if you prefer, you can go to your Eye Guardian page to see the questionable material (including words, phrases and photos) highlighted  in red.

The company that created the app started creating the software three years ago for companies like Apple and Yahoo but then found a new demand:  parents who have kids with mobile phones and Facebook accounts.

Although kids may not be excited about the apps, parents can have some level of comfort because the app lets them monitor their child’s use of Facebook and mobile phones and also gives them an opportunity to talk to their child about what’s issues of concern.

What? You think your child doesn’t have a credit report because she’s too young to have credit?

Think again.

A recent study by Carnegie Mellon CyLab revealed that thieves are targeting children for unused social security numbers. According to the study, children had 51 times higher attack rate than adults. It’s a lot easier stealing children’s identities. Parents  are not expecting them to be used, so they don’t check their credit ratings. The youngest child whose identity was stolen was five months old.

Your child’s credit rating could be damaged before she ever makes her first purchase. When your child’s identity is stolen and used by criminals, years may pass before the fraud is ever discovered – like when your child is applying for a car loan or college.

While they may not be the most widespread source of obtaining your child’s social security number, this time of year brings new opportunities to ID thieves.  How?  All those forms your fill out for your child’s school.

As get your child ready to go back to school, add reading the Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Alert on protecting your child’s personal information at school to your list of things to do. The Alert has several suggestions for parents who have children going to school:

• Find out who has access to your child’s information.

• Find out how the information is securely maintained.

• Watch out for what information is requested through mail and email – don’t reveal any information until you find out how it’s going to be used, whether it be shared, and what is being done to keep it secure.

• Schools must provide you with notice of your rights under the Family Educational Rights Privacy Act. Be sure you get the notices, read them, understand them, ask questions.

As we move more and more into the world of doing business in the cyber world, children are more vulnerable to fraud and other criminal activity, and parents have more reasons to keep an eye on whether their child’s identity has been compromised.

Then, I noticed the picture of a backpack that has sirens and strobe light alarms that a child can activate if she is being physically accosted, and I was intrigued.

When I read the article, I found that it was about both – the backpack with alarms and what parents can do if they suspect their child is being bullied.

The crux of the article is that a backpack with alarms isn’t going to magically make your child safe. (In fact, one psychotherapist who specializes in family issues, Cynthia Glass, cautions that a child with such a backpack may become a target merely because of having the backpack.) The causes of bullying are complicated and carrying a special kind of backpack with alarms isn’t going to stop it.

Parents should be aware of some clues that a child is being bullied:

• Damaged or missing clothing, books, electronics, etc.

• Unexplained stomachaches or headaches.

• Trouble sleeping.

• Changes in eating habits, for example, eating a lot when she gets home (which perhaps is an indication that they are not eating at school).

• Suddenly doing poorly in school.

The article also has suggestions for how to talk to your child if you notice any of these clues:

• TALK to your child.
• Role playing so your child can practice what to do (just like an athlete or musician or dancer).
• Be self confident.
• Even though it’s hard, ignore the bully. (Bullies like attention.)
• If your child is in physical danger, TELL AN ADULT.

Virginia law requires that schools have anti-bullying policies. Some bullying may even be so serious that schools could be held responsible for violating Federal anti-discrimination laws.

More than ten anti-bullying bills were submitted to the Texas legislature this session. The one going to the governor’s desk for his signature requires school boards to ban bullying, including cyberbullying.

It won’t “fix” the bullying problem — reasons kids turn into bullies are complicated — but the new law will give the schools one more tool in getting this growing problem under control.

1.    This section requires every school board in Virginia to establish anti-bullying policies.

2.    This section protects teachers and other volunteers when they report alleged bullying when they follow proper procedures. That is, the alleged bully cannot sue the teachers and volunteers who report the bullying if the teacher/volunteer acted in good faith and reported properly.

3.     This section confirms that the anti-bullying rules apply to cyber-bullying.

4.     This section bans hazing, a criminal offense.

If your child has experienced bullying, report it immediately to the proper school personnel and, if the bullying involved physical contact (pushing, shoving, tripping, hitting, etc.), file a complaint with the police.
If you do not get a satisfactory response from the school system, consult a child injury lawyer who can give you information, advice and assistance.

Here’s a link to another article I wrote as a guest post at the Bisnar-Chase law firm in California about Tips for finding great daycare for your child.