How to Find Sexting Images and Text Posted to Facebook
If your child has a cell phone, you ought to be concerned about the messages she gets and sends.
Teens, and even preteens, are increasingly sexting each other. (Links to my earlier posts about sexting are here and here.) Texts are also increasingly being used by cyberbullies.
Eye Guardian is a new app that looks for graphic phrases in your child’s text messages AND on her Facebook page.
You set your own sensitivity scale for words/phrases are offensive to you. You get an email alert once the software finds an offensive item or, if you prefer, you can go to your Eye Guardian page to see the questionable material (including words, phrases and photos) highlighted in red.
The company that created the app started creating the software three years ago for companies like Apple and Yahoo but then found a new demand: parents who have kids with mobile phones and Facebook accounts.
Although kids may not be excited about the apps, parents can have some level of comfort because the app lets them monitor their child’s use of Facebook and mobile phones and also gives them an opportunity to talk to their child about what’s issues of concern.
Think Your Child’s Identity Hasn’t Been Stolen? Think Again.
As you get your daughter ready to go back to school, have you thought about checking her credit report?
What? You think your child doesn’t have a credit report because she’s too young to have credit?
Think again.
A recent study by Carnegie Mellon CyLab revealed that thieves are targeting children for unused social security numbers. According to the study, children had 51 times higher attack rate than adults. It’s a lot easier stealing children’s identities. Parents are not expecting them to be used, so they don’t check their credit ratings. The youngest child whose identity was stolen was five months old.
Your child’s credit rating could be damaged before she ever makes her first purchase. When your child’s identity is stolen and used by criminals, years may pass before the fraud is ever discovered – like when your child is applying for a car loan or college.
While they may not be the most widespread source of obtaining your child’s social security number, this time of year brings new opportunities to ID thieves. How? All those forms your fill out for your child’s school.
As get your child ready to go back to school, add reading the Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Alert on protecting your child’s personal information at school to your list of things to do. The Alert has several suggestions for parents who have children going to school:
- Find out who has access to your child’s information.
- Find out how the information is securely maintained.
- Watch out for what information is requested through mail and email – don’t reveal any information until you find out how it’s going to be used, whether it be shared, and what is being done to keep it secure.
- Schools must provide you with notice of your rights under the Family Educational Rights Privacy Act. Be sure you get the notices, read them, understand them, ask questions.
As we move more and more into the world of doing business in the cyber world, children are more vulnerable to fraud and other criminal activity, and parents have more reasons to keep an eye on whether their child’s identity has been compromised.
Will a Backpack With Alarms Protect Your Child From Bullies?
The theme of yesterday’s Washington Post Local Living section was back to school. When I saw the title of an article, “How to have a bullied child’s back,” I thought the article was about how parents should talk to their children about coping with bullies.
Then, I noticed the picture of a backpack that has sirens and strobe light alarms that a child can activate if she is being physically accosted, and I was intrigued.
When I read the article, I found that it was about both – the backpack with alarms and what parents can do if they suspect their child is being bullied.
The crux of the article is that a backpack with alarms isn’t going to magically make your child safe. (In fact, one psychotherapist who specializes in family issues, Cynthia Glass, cautions that a child with such a backpack may become a target merely because of having the backpack.) The causes of bullying are complicated and carrying a special kind of backpack with alarms isn’t going to stop it.
Parents should be aware of some clues that a child is being bullied:
- Damaged or missing clothing, books, electronics, etc.
- Unexplained stomachaches or headaches.
- Trouble sleeping.
- Changes in eating habits, for example, eating a lot when she gets home (which perhaps is an indication that they are not eating at school).
- Suddenly doing poorly in school.
The article also has suggestions for how to talk to your child if you notice any of these clues:
- TALK to your child.
- Role playing so your child can practice what to do (just like an athlete or musician or dancer).
- Be self confident.
- Even though it’s hard, ignore the bully. (Bullies like attention.)
- If your child is in physical danger, TELL AN ADULT.
Virginia law requires that schools have anti-bullying policies. Some bullying may even be so serious that schools could be held responsible for violating Federal anti-discrimination laws.
Monitoring Software Can Help You Keep an Eye On Your Child’s Internet Activity.
I have a friend who is the mother of one-year-old twins. She downloaded an app to her iPad — for her twins! Those twins are cute touching the iPad and watching the colors change, but an iPad app for one year olds? Really? Whatever you think about that, electronics are bringing new ways for children, even very young children, to interact with the world.
Although iPad apps used by one year olds do not give them access to the internet, younger and younger children are being allowed internet access. Children in upper elementary schools now have their own iPads, iTouches and cell phones, all of which give the user access to the text messages, email and the internet.
The internet is a dangerous place, especially for exploring children and teens. Parents have rules, of course, to control their children’s internet use. For example:
• I get to look at your text messages whenever I want.
• You’re not allowed to delete any messages.
• We get to have your cell phone at night – you’re not allowed to have it in your room.
But is that enough? Maybe not. Internet communications can be sent and received without people around you knowing about it. It’s hidden, private — which alone ought to frighten parents.
Why? The internet has made it easier for stalkers to torment vulnerable young people. Cyberspace has given birth to a new type of bully: the cyberbully.
Bullying is no longer being dismissed as ‘just a joke.’ Schools are tightening their policies against bullying, including cyberbulling. Virginiais one of the states that revised its anti-bullying law to include outlawing of cyberbullying. With schools and legislatures and courts taking bullying seriously, parents can help their child avoid being a victim – or a bully – by understanding the law and the consequences of violating the law and then talking to their child about it. And, of course, they can help protect their child by monitoring her internet use.
Several companies have developed tools to help parents monitor their child’s use of the internet. A few I have heard of are PC Pandora, PC Tattletale and eBlaster. They are similar but not exactly the same, so find the one that best suits your needs.
If your child has internet access, no matter how much they protest, please consider getting monitoring software.
NOTE: I HAVE NO INTEREST, FINANCIAL OR OTHERWISE, IN ANY INTERNET MONITORING SOFTWARE, INCLUDING THE ONES I MENTIONED.
Do You Really Need MORE Information About Choosing Child Care?
Every parent who needs to leave the house to go to work is concerned about their child’s safety while she is in the care of someone else.
I have written in the past about challenges parents face in finding the right place for their child’s day care. Tips for Finding the Best Daycare for Your Child, Seven Tips for Getting the Best Daycare for Your Child (a guest post I wrote that was published on another law firm’s website), Daycare Safety Resources, Signs of a Bad Daycare Center, Go Elsewhere If Your Child’s Daycare Center Has No Handbook.
Here is another resource you might find helpful.
The Parents Guide to Choosing Safe and Healthy Child Care is a publication of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. One thing I like about the Guide is that you can download the pdf file and take it with you when you are talking to the director of every daycare facility you are considering. Ask all the questions and get the right answers.
The guidelines are based on research, so I won’t quibble with what’s on the list, but I would include some questions that are not on the list. Maybe it’s the “lawyer” in me, but here are things I would add to the list:
- I would want to SEE proof of the answers to the questions to, for instance, the qualifications of the director and every teacher. I wouldn’t want to just have someone say, “Oh, yes, we’re all qualified.”
- I would want to SEE proof that the center maintains its teacher/child ratio every day at all times. So, does the center have and use a system that tracks when teachers are present or absent and what accommodations are made to keep the ratio proper?
- I would want to SEE the center’s parent handbook. Does it set out systems for emergencies? Does it reveal the center’s policies and procedures about children coming in sick and a (flexible!) schedule that is appropriate to your child’s age?
What other questions would you have? What other proof would you want to see? Let me know and I’ll add it to my list.
The bottom line is to use every resource you can find that will give you the most information possible that will help you make the best decision you can. Your child’s well being depends on it.
Does the Pool Where Your Child Swims Have A Silent Killer?
When parents think about pool safety, they generally think about being sure their children know how to swim and how to “walk don’t run” around the edge of the pool and how to be sure the depth of the water is safe when they jump in. But, there is a silent, potentially deadly part of the pool that every parent should check on: the pool drain.
Every pool needs a drain, but every pool drain is not safe. Pool drains create incredible suctioning forces that can entangle a swimsuit or trap a child’s body. Here are some safety tips every parent needs to know before allowing their child to go into a pool — any pool:
- If you have a pool at your home, be sure the pool drain cover is installed correctly.
- Be sure the pool drain is not among the 1 million that have been recalled by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
- Push for regular safety inspections at your neighborhood pool. Pools are required by law to have proper drain covers.
- If you don’t know if the pool where you and your child are swimming has been inspected, identify and keep your child away from all drains, pipes and other openings.
Check out the CPSC website on pool safety for more information.
No parent should have to face the prospect of their child being injured or killed because of an unsafe pool drain.
Need Information on Child Care? Look Here.
The National Resource Center for Health and Safety in Child Care and Early Education 
website has lots of valuable information for parents (and others) looking for help with issues surrounding child care.
One of its most valuable pages is an A-Z list of links to websites that provide health and safety tips and information related to child care. Here are just a few examples of the kind of information you can find there:
- Allergies
- Background checks
- Biting
- Child care health consultants
- Children with special needs
- Choosing child care
- Emergency preparedness/disaster planning
- Licensing
- Military child care
- Parenting
- Playground safety
- Quality
- SIDS
Each topic has links to one or more sites, some of which are national in scope while others are state specific.The list has many more items than I have included here.
The site is loaded with information useful to anyone interested in issues involving child care.
Anti-bullying Bill Passes the Texas Legislature
According to MySA.com, school bullies will now face punishment in Texas.
More than ten anti-bullying bills were submitted to the Texas legislature this session. The one going to the governor’s desk for his signature requires school boards to ban bullying, including cyberbullying.
It won’t “fix” the bullying problem — reasons kids turn into bullies are complicated — but the new law will give the schools one more tool in getting this growing problem under control.
How Can You Monitor Your Child’s Cell Phone Texts? An Internet Safety Expert Tells You.
A couple of days ago, I posted information about a new social website for tweens called WhatsWhat.me.
The website has an expert on internet safety, Katie L. Greer. She answers questions in the Parent’s Resource Center.
A recent question from a parent was about how to monitor a child’s cell phone texts. Here are her suggestions:
- If the child’s cell phone has an app that allows you to track your child’s activity on their phone, get it.
- If it doesn’t, other phones have settings that can block what the child is not allowed to do.
- Call the cell phone service provider and ask what they can do to help make your child’s phone safe.
- Some companies offer tracking services for a small fee.
- Most companies won’t give you a list of all the text messages; however, you can ask for a detailed bill that shows the text messaging activity.
You pay these companies a lot of money every month. Call them up and ask them what they can do to help you keep your child safe. If they can’t help you, switch cell phone companies.
Businesses react to the market. Good companies give the market what it wants. There are plenty of companies that have parent-friendly phones and options. So take your business to the company that can help keep your kids safe.
Here’s a Safe Social Website for Kids!
I found this great resource for parents of “tweens” – kids between 7 and 13 years old – about internet safety. www.WhatsWhat.me is a safe social website for kids.
- It’s protected, it’s monitored, and it’s secure.
- It’s a place where tweens can go and “friend” other kids within their grade, one grade above and one grade below.
- It’s professionally moderated.
- It doesn’t use or sell the content.
- Parents sign up with their children.
- Facial recognition software is used at sign up and to verify every login.
Basically, it’s a place where children can learn about using social media and do it in a safe environment.
We all know how scary the internet can be for our children. This site offers a great alternative for parents and their tweens.
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