1.    This section requires every school board in Virginia to establish anti-bullying policies.

2.    This section protects teachers and other volunteers when they report alleged bullying when they follow proper procedures. That is, the alleged bully cannot sue the teachers and volunteers who report the bullying if the teacher/volunteer acted in good faith and reported properly.

3.     This section confirms that the anti-bullying rules apply to cyber-bullying.

4.     This section bans hazing, a criminal offense.

If your child has experienced bullying, report it immediately to the proper school personnel and, if the bullying involved physical contact (pushing, shoving, tripping, hitting, etc.), file a complaint with the police.
If you do not get a satisfactory response from the school system, consult a child injury lawyer who can give you information, advice and assistance.

Tragically, teens in Virginia and elsewhere have been so desperate to escape the threats and pain inflicted by the bullies that they have taken their own lives.

President and Mrs. Obama today announced that they are hosting a meeting at the White House on Thursday, March 11, 2011, to talk with teachers, students and parents about how to stop bullying and the responsibility that each of us has to make sure our children treat each other with respect.

The link to the video announcement on the StopBullying.gov Facebook page is here.

In the video, President Obama says, “For a long time bullying was treated as an unavoidable part of growing up, but more and more we are seeing how harmful it can be for our kids – especially when it follows them from their school to their phone to their computer screen.”

President Obama’s remarks about the bullies following children from “their school to their phone to their computer screen” is an acknowledgement that bullies now have more sinister ways to torment their victims than in the past. It’s no longer just a fear of being beat up or teased at school. Bullies can now follow their victims wherever they are, 24/7.

I have posted several blogs about bullying in the past.

Bullies have succeeded in the past by inflicting fear upon and demanding secrecy from their victims. Perhaps President and Mrs. Obama are helping to take those weapons away from the bullies. I hope their shining the bright spotlight of their influence onto bullies everywhere will make a difference in the lives of our children.

Sexting is sending nude or semi-nude pictures of yourself to your friends. It is a problem on so many levels.

1.  A teen may send a picture to a friend but can’t control who that friend sends the picture to, or who that person sends it to — and on and on.

2.  The more mature person the young teen grows into may have some explaining to do when s/he applies for a job or security clearance, which would be a problem because it’s embarrassing. But it could also be a problem because . . .

3.  It’s illegal. Virginia law currently defines child pornography as possessing such pictures of minors, so if your child has such a picture on his/her phone, he could be charged with felony child pornography! Although many prosecutors are not charging felony child pornography but are charging misdemeanor obscenity, the fact remains that children could face some sort of criminal penalty for having these pictures.

4.  Teens are feeling pressured into giving girl/boyfriends nude and semi-nude pictures — which means it’s just another form of controlling and bullying.

5.  Sexting can be dangerous. Your teen never really knows who they are dealing with on the other end of the sexting.

Our website has an article in its Library, EXCUSES, EXCUSES, that is the transcript of a radio spot produced by the Ad Council. It’s a list of excuses a teen can use when she (or he) is being pressured into sexting.

Here’s a link to a website with tips to prevent sexting. Read it with your child — even if s/he doesn’t want to.

It is not news that our kids, teens especially, find ways to communicate to each other so that parents — who they think are clueless — don’t understand what is being discussed. In the world of texting, however, such secrecy can be lethal.

Then along comes LRNtheLingo, a $.99 iPhone app that was created by Lucinda Crabtree, owner of Crabtree + Co (a marketing communications firm in Falls Church, Virginia) after the daughter of a staff member committed suicide. The girl’s mother felt that better communication would have helped her recognize warning signs in her daughter’s behavior.

LRNtheLingo defines and explains texting codes, emoticons (those “emotion” “icons” that are used to express the mood of the writer — e.g., “:” + “)” signifies smile = happy) and common slang terms  used, especially, by teens. Its goal is to keep parents in the loop so they’ll have a better chance of knowing what their kids and their friends are saying to each other.

“So what,” you say? “Parents will never know what’s going on with their kids and their friends.” Well, check out LRNthelingo.com on Facebook, and a look at some of the headlines from its posts. They may change your mind:

>Cyber bullying: Hate spreads like virus

>Teens still engaging in risky behavior on social networks

>Teens not always truthful about drug use

Okay, if those headlines don’t get your attention, maybe this example of some of the definitions at LRNtheLingo may:

PBS — Parent behind shoulder OR PLOS — Parent looking over shoulder

:*) — Drinking every night

RU/18 — Are you over 18?

FBI – Female body inspector

GNOC — Get naked on camera

GYPO — Get your pants off

IWSN — I want sex now

NIFOC – Nude in front of computer

And hundreds more. (NB: If you’re not on Facebook, go there. You’ll be surprised at what you find.)

I don’t usually endorse products, but it seems to me that for $.99, a parent has one more small arrow to put in the quiver of understanding what’s going on with a teen. I think it’s money well spent.

What’s “this“?

It’s a form of abuse and bullying called textual harassment. And, it’s dangerous.   Abusive relationships have been around a really long time, and technology now makes the abuse much easier. Harassers can, and do, send hundreds of text messages a day, at any time of the day and night, which are threatening, intrusive or full of lies.

But, the problem isn’t just with text messaging. According to an article in The Washington Post, textual harassment is only one part of abusive relationships. Kasey Kirkland, a victim services specialist with the Fairfax County Police Department, says that “the advances in technology are assisting the perpetrators in harassing and stalking and threatening their victims.”

The message for parents and friends is the same as always, but every bit as important:

1.  Start early: Set boundaries about cell phone use and stick to them. Teens don’t need to have a cell phone with them while they (try to) sleep at night. Many of the harassing and abusive text messages come during the night when your teen should feel safe at home, asleep in her bed.

2.  Don’t be afraid of arguments and fights. Sometimes the biggest fights will be about what is most important — keeping your teenager safe.

3.  Stay in touch with your teen. Promise her that all she has to do is let you know she needs a new phone with a different number, and she’ll get it.

4.  Let her know that she doesn’t have to be afraid of what you’ll say. Promise. Mean it.

5.  If you see or hear something that just doesn’t “add up,” don’t wait. Take action.

More than 25% of children say they are bullied at school! Nearly one-quarter of public schools report that bullying is a daily or weekly problem.

Your child might be a victim of bullying if:

• She is afraid to go to school or do organized activities with classmates
• She has unexplainable cuts or bruises
• Her clothes, books or other belongings are damaged or missing
• She often cries or seems sad

It’s often hard for children who are being bullied to talk to a parent or other adult, but it is very important for them to tell.  Create an atmosphere of trust with your child so you can help her. If you think your child is being bullied, you can help:

• Ask your child to tell you about the bully. Listen carefully. Let her know it’s not her fault.
• Teach ways to deal with bullies. Teach her to walk away or find an adult. She should not react to the bully. Hitting back won’t end the problem and may get her in trouble (even if she didn’t start it).
• Encourage her to make friends at school.
• Talk with the teacher or principal if the bullying doesn’t stop. They have a responsibility to stop bullying. Find out if the school has a program to prevent bullying. If not, suggest they take immediate steps to develop one.

Yesterday, I posted a blog about bullying that features a bullying prevention program being used in Frederick County, Maryland.

If your child is being bullied at school and you need more information about her rights and the responsibility of the school, I will be glad to provide you with information that is helpful to you. You can contact me at Sandra@RohrstaffLaw.com, give me a call at 703-260-6070 or you can contact me through our website, www.RohrstaffLaw.com.

Childhood bullies often grow up to be adult bullies. Maybe you’ve even run across one. If bullying is a problem at your child’s school, go to the principal. Your child has a right to be safe at school.